Who Killed Bob Teal? And Other Detective Stories Read online

  The dog’s voice came through a closed door. I crossed to it, pulled it open. A dark fluffy dog jumped snapping at my leg. I grabbed it where its fur was thickest and lifted it squirming and snarling. The light hit it. It was purple—purple as a grape! Dyed purple!

  Carrying this yapping, yelping artificial hound a little away from my body with my left hand, I moved on to the next room—a bedroom. It was vacant. Its closet hid nobody. I found the kitchen and bathroom. Empty. No one was in the apartment. The purple pup had been imprisoned by the Whosis Kid earlier in the day.

  Passing through the second room on my way back to the woman with her dog and my report, I saw a slitted envelope lying face-down on a table. I turned it over. The stationery of a fashionable store, it was addressed to Mrs. Inés Almad, here.

  The party seemed to be getting international. Maurois was French; the Whosis Kid was Boston American; the dog had a Bohemian name (at least I remember nabbing a Czech forger a few months before whose first name was Frana); and Inés, I imagine, was either Spanish or Portuguese. I didn’t know what Almad was, but she was undoubtedly foreign, and not, I thought, French.

  I returned to her. She hadn’t moved an inch.

  “Everything seems to be all right,” I told her. “The dog got himself caught in a closet.”

  “There is no one here?”

  “No one.”

  She took the dog in both hands, kissing its fluffy stained head, crooning affectionate words to it in a language that made no sense to me.

  “Do your friends—the people you had your row with tonight—know where you live?” I asked.

  I knew they did. I wanted to see what she knew.

  She dropped the dog as if she had forgotten it, and her brows puckered.

  “I do not know that,” she said slowly. “Yet it may be. If they do—”

  She shuddered, spun on her heel, and pushed the hall door violently shut.

  “They may have been here this afternoon,” she went on. “Frana has made himself prisoner in closets before, but I fear everything. I am coward-like. But there is none here now?”

  “No one,” I assured her again.

  We went into the sitting-room. I got my first good look at her when she shed her hat and dark cape.

  She was a trifle under medium height, a dark-skinned woman of thirty in a vivid orange gown. She was dark as an Indian, with bare brown shoulders round and sloping, tiny feet and hands, her fingers heavy with rings. Her nose was thin and curved, her mouth full-lipped and red, her eyes—long and thickly lashed—were of an extraordinary narrowness. They were dark eyes, but nothing of their color could be seen through the thin slits that separated the lids. Two dark gleams through veiling lashes. Her black hair was disarranged just now in fluffy silk puffs. A rope of pearls hung down on her dark chest. Earrings of black iron—in a peculiar club-like design—swung beside her cheeks.

  Altogether, she was an odd trick. But I wouldn’t want to be quoted as saying that she wasn’t beautiful—in a wild way.

  She was shaking and shivering as she got rid of her hat and cloak. White teeth held her lower lip as she crossed the room to turn on an electric heater. I took advantage of this opportunity to shift my gun from my overcoat pocket to my pants. Then I took off the coat.

  Leaving the room for a second, she returned with a brown-filled quart bottle and two tumblers on a bronze tray, which she put on a little table near the heater.

  The first tumbler she filled to within half an inch of its rim. I stopped her when she had the other nearly half full.

  “That’ll do fine for me,” I said.

  It was brandy, and not at all hard to get down. She shot her tumblerful into her throat as if she needed it, shook her bare shoulders, and sighed in a satisfied way.

  “You will think, certainly, I am lunatic,” she smiled at me. “Flinging myself on you, a stranger in the street, demanding of you time and troubles.”

  “No,” I lied seriously. “I think you’re pretty level-headed for a woman who, no doubt, isn’t used to this sort of stuff.”

  She was pulling a little upholstered bench closer to the electric heater, within reach of the table that held the brandy. She sat down now, with an inviting nod at the bench’s empty half.

  The purple dog jumped into her lap. She pushed it out. It started to return. She kicked it sharply in the side with the pointed toe of her slipper. It yelped and crawled under a chair across the room.

  I avoided the window by going the long way around the room. The window was curtained, but not thickly enough to hide all of the room from the Whosis Kid—if he happened to be sitting at his window just now with a pair of field-glasses to his eyes.

  “But I am not level-headed, really,” the woman was saying as I dropped beside her. “I am coward-like, terribly. And even becoming accustomed— It is my husband, or he who was my husband. I should tell you. Your gallantry deserves the explanation, and I do not wish you should think a thing that is not so.”

  I tried to look trusting and credulous. I expected to disbelieve everything she said.

  “He is most crazily jealous,” she went on in her low-pitched, soft voice, with a peculiar way of saying words that just missed being marked enough to be called a foreign accent. “He is an old man, and incredibly wicked. These men he has sent to me! A woman there was once—tonight’s men are not first. I don’t know what—what they mean. To kill me, perhaps—to maim, to disfigure—I do not know.”

  “And the man in the taxi with you was one of them?” I asked. “I was driving down the street behind you when you were attacked, and I could see there was a man with you. He was one of them?”

  “Yes! I did not know it, but it must have been that he was. He does not defend me. A pretense, that is all.”

  “Ever try sicking the cops on this hubby of yours?”

  “It is what?”

  “Ever notify the police?”

  “Yes, but”—she shrugged her brown shoulders—“I would as well have kept quiet, or better. In Buffalo it was, and they—they bound my husband to keep the peace, I think you call it. A thousand dollars! Poof! What is that to him in his jealousy? And I—I cannot stand the things the newspapers say—the jesting of them. I must leave Buffalo. Yes, once I do try sicking the cops on him. But not more.”

  “Buffalo?” I explored a little. “I lived there for a while—on Crescent avenue.”

  “Oh, yes. That is out by the Delaware Park.”

  That was right enough. But her knowing something about Buffalo didn’t prove anything about the rest of her story.

  VI

  She poured more brandy. By speaking quick I held my drink down to a size suitable for a man who has work to do. Hers was as large as before. We drank, and she offered me cigarettes in a lacquered box—slender cigarettes, hand-rolled in black paper.

  I didn’t stay with mine long. It tasted, smelt and scorched like gunpowder.

  “You don’t like my cigarettes?”

  “I’m an old-fashioned man,” I apologized, rubbing its fire out in a bronze dish, fishing in my pocket for my own deck. “Tobacco’s as far as I’ve got. What’s in these fireworks?”

  She laughed. She had a pleasant laugh, with a sort of coo in it.

  “I am so very sorry. So many people do not like them. I have a Hindu incense mixed with the tobacco.”

  I didn’t say anything to that. It was what you would expect of a woman who would dye her dog purple.

  The dog moved under its chair just then, scratching the floor with its nails.

  The brown woman was in my arms, in my lap, her arms wrapped around my neck. Close-up, opened by terror, her eyes weren’t dark at all. They were gray-green. The blackness was in the shadow from her heavy lashes.

  “It’s only the dog,” I assured her, sliding her back on her own part of the bench. “It’s only the dog wrigg
ling around under the chair.”

  “Ah!” she blew her breath out with enormous relief.

  Then we had to have another shot of brandy.

  “You see, I am most awfully the coward,” she said when the third dose of liquor was in her. “But, ah, I have had so much trouble. It is a wonder that I am not insane.”

  I could have told her she wasn’t far enough from it to do much bragging, but I nodded with what was meant for sympathy.

  She lit another cigarette to replace the one she had dropped in her excitement. Her eyes became normal black slits again.

  “I do not think it is nice”—there was a suggestion of a dimple in her brown cheek when she smiled like that—“that I throw myself into the arms of a man even whose name I do not know, or anything of him.”

  “That’s easy to fix. My name is Young,” I lied; “and I can let you have a case of Scotch at a price that will astonish you. I think maybe I could stand it if you call me Jerry. Most of the ladies I let sit in my lap do.”

  “Jerry Young,” she repeated, as if to herself. “That is a nice name. And you are the bootlegger?”

  “Not the,” I corrected her; “just a. This is San Francisco.”

  The going got tough after that.

  Everything else about this brown woman was all wrong, but her fright was real. She was scared stiff. And she didn’t intend being left alone this night. She meant to keep me there—to massage any more chins that stuck themselves at her. Her idea—she being that sort—was that I would be most surely held with affection. So she must turn herself loose on me. She wasn’t hampered by any pruderies or puritanisms at all.

  I also have an idea. Mine is that when the last gong rings I’m going to be leading this baby and some of her playmates to the city prison. That is an excellent reason—among a dozen others I could think of—why I shouldn’t get mushy with her.

  I was willing enough to camp there with her until something happened. That apartment looked like the scene of the next action. But I had to cover up my own game. I couldn’t let her know she was only a minor figure in it. I had to pretend there was nothing behind my willingness to stay but a desire to protect her. Another man might have got by with a chivalrous, knight-errant, protector-of-womanhood-without-personal-interest attitude. But I don’t look, and can’t easily act, like that kind of person. I had to hold her off without letting her guess that my interest wasn’t personal. It was no cinch. She was too damned direct, and she had too much brandy in her.

  I didn’t kid myself that my beauty and personality were responsible for any of her warmth. I was a thick-armed male with big fists. She was in a jam. She spelled my name P-r-o-t-e-c-t-i-o-n. I was something to be put between her and trouble.

  Another complication: I am neither young enough nor old enough to get feverish over every woman who doesn’t make me think being blind isn’t so bad. I’m at that middle point around forty where a man puts other feminine qualities—amiability, for one—above beauty on his list. This brown woman annoyed me. She was too sure of herself. Her work was rough. She was trying to handle me as if I were a farmer boy. But in spite of all this, I’m constructed mostly of human ingredients. This woman got more than a stand-off when faces and bodies were dealt. I didn’t like her. I hoped to throw her in the can before I was through. But I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that she had me stirred up inside—between her cuddling against me, giving me the come-on, and the brandy I had drunk.

  The going was tough—no fooling.

  A couple of times I was tempted to bolt. Once I looked at my watch—2:06. She put a ring-heavy brown hand on the timepiece and pushed it down to my pocket.

  “Please, Jerry!” the earnestness in her voice was real. “You cannot go. You cannot leave me here. I will not have it so. I will go also, through the streets following. You cannot leave me to be murdered here!”

  I settled down again.

  A few minutes later a bell rang sharply.

  She went to pieces immediately. She piled over on me, strangling me with her bare arms. I pried them loose enough to let me talk.

  “What bell is that?”

  “The street door. Do not heed it.”

  I patted her shoulder.

  “Be a good girl and answer it. Let’s see who it is.”

  Her arms tightened.

  “No! No! No! They have come!”

  The bell rang again.

  “Answer it,” I insisted.

  Her face was flat against my coat, her nose digging into my chest.

  “No! No!”

  “All right,” I said. “I’ll answer it myself.”

  I untangled myself from her, got up and went into the passageway. She followed me. I tried again to persuade her to do the talking. She would not, although she didn’t object to my talking. I would have liked it better if whoever was downstairs didn’t learn that the woman wasn’t alone. But she was too stubborn in her refusal for me to do anything with her.

  “Well?” I said into the speaking-tube.

  “Who the hell are you?” a harsh, deep-chested voice asked.

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to talk to Inés.”

  “Speak your piece to me,” I suggested, “and I’ll tell her about it.”

  The woman, holding one of my arms, had an ear close to the tube.

  “Billie, it is,” she whispered. “Tell him that he goes away.”

  “You’re to go away,” I passed the message on.

  “Yeah?” the voice grew harsher and deeper. “Will you open the door, or will I bust it in?”

  There wasn’t a bit of playfulness in the question. Without consulting the woman, I put a finger on the button that unlocks the street door.

  “Welcome,” I said into the tube.

  “He’s coming up,” I explained to the woman. “Shall I stand behind the door and tap him on the skull when he comes in? Or do you want to talk to him first?”

  “Do not strike him!” she exclaimed. “It is Billie.”

  That suited me. I hadn’t intended putting the slug to him—not until I knew who and what he was, anyway. I had wanted to see what she would say.

  VII

  Billie wasn’t long getting up to us. I opened the door when he rang, the woman standing beside me. He didn’t wait for an invitation. He was through the doorway before I had the door half opened. He glared at me. There was plenty of him!

  A big, red-faced, red-haired bale of a man—big in any direction you measured him—and none of him was fat. The skin was off his nose, one cheek was clawed, the other swollen. His hatless head was a tangled mass of red hair. One pocket had been ripped out of his coat, and a button dangled on the end of a six-inch ribbon of torn cloth.

  This was the big heaver who had been in the taxicab with the woman.

  “Who’s this mutt?” he demanded, moving his big paws toward me.

  I knew the woman was a goof. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she had tried to feed me to the battered giant. But she didn’t. She put a hand on one of his and soothed him.

  “Do not be nasty, Billie. He is a friend. Without him I would not this night have escaped.”

  He scowled. Then his face straightened out and he caught her hand in both of his.

  “So you got away it’s all right,” he said huskily. “I’d a done better if we’d been outside. There wasn’t no room in that taxi for me to turn around. And one of them guys crowned me.”

  That was funny. This big clown was apologizing for getting mangled up protecting a woman who had scooted, leaving him to get out as well as he could.

  The woman led him into the sitting-room, I tagging along behind. They sat on the bench. I picked out a chair that wasn’t in line with the window the Whosis Kid ought to be watching.

  “What did happen, Billie?” She touched his grooved cheek and skinne
d nose with her fingertips. “You are hurt.”

  He grinned with a sort of shamefaced delight. I saw that what I had taken for a swelling in one cheek was only a big hunk of chewing tobacco.

  “I don’t know all that happened,” he said. “One of ’em crowned me, and I didn’t wake up till a coupla hours afterwards. The taxi driver didn’t give me no help in the fight, but he was a right guy and knowed where his money would come from. He didn’t holler or nothing. He took me around to a doc that wouldn’t squawk, and the doc straightened me out, and then I come up here.”

  “Did you see each one of those men?” she asked.

  “Sure! I seen ’em, and felt ’em, and maybe tasted ’em.”

  “They were how many?”

  “Just two of ’em. A little fella with a trick tickler, and a husky with a big chin on him.”

  “There was no other? There was not a younger man, tall and thin?”

  That could be the Whosis Kid. She thought he and the Frenchman were working together?

  Billie shook his shaggy, banged-up head.

  “Nope. They was only two of ’em.”

  She frowned and chewed her lip.

  Billie looked sidewise at me—a look that said “Beat it.”

  The woman caught the glance. She twisted around on the bench to put a hand on his head.

  “Poor Billie,” she cooed; “his head most cruelly hurt saving me, and now, when he should be at his home giving it rest, I keep him here talking. You go, Billie, and when it is morning and your poor head is better, you will telephone to me?”

  His red face got dark. He glowered at me.

  Laughing, she slapped him lightly on the cheek that bulged around his cud of tobacco.

  “Do not become jealous of Jerry. Jerry is enamored of one yellow and white lady somewhere, and to her he is most faithful. Not even the smallest liking has he for dark women.” She smiled a challenge at me. “Is it not so, Jerry?”

  “No,” I denied. “And, besides, all women are dark.”